You Can Heal Your Relationship
Today I want to share with you something very private.
Imagine this. Two people, who are very different, managing a hugely stressful project, worrying about money, frustrated with lack of progress and living in less than comfortable circumstances … it’s pretty much a recipe for disaster.
Couples have divorced over less!
But while our current situation is very difficult, this is just the latest trigger for a pattern that has been causing me, and my husband, sadness and pain for many years. A pattern that has created so much conflict that we would stop speaking to each other for days.
A couple of days ago, this pattern showed up again and it was ugly. Shouting and blaming each other – hurtful to the point where I left the room. I was so angry with him. I blamed him for everything that was happening and felt helpless to change it. I was very upset and had no idea how to handle this situation any longer. I was at breaking point.
Something needed to change.
We had been doing this destructive dance for long enough.
I remembered a clever person who once said …
"Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome is pretty much insane!"
On this occasion I took a moment to myself. We weren’t in the same space, as we were avoiding each other, so it was the perfect opportunity to take some time out. Although this pattern between us was years old, the stress of our current situation was making it show up much more frequently.
I learned a long time ago that when our soul has a message for us, it will tap us gently on the shoulder. If we don’t listen, it will tap us a bit harder and more insistently. And if we still don’t listen, it will pretty much make it impossible for us to continue.
I guess I had been failing to listen. Me who knows better. Me who has developed my own powerful process to help others get in touch with the messages of their soul. I wasn’t following my own advice.
I was feeling like a victim and in doing so, was expecting my husband to change rather than taking responsibility for my part in this situation.
What a tap on the shoulder that was!
So in my moment of solitude, in my moment of clarity, I started using my own unique Brain Body Transformation (BBT) process. And as it always does, it worked! Suddenly I could see how I was responsible for this situation. Where I had always felt like a victim, I suddenly saw that this was not the case at all. I had not been taking responsibility for my own thoughts, emotions and actions and therefore my husband had been bravely taking this burden for me for many years. He had been holding this for me to help me grow.
Can you imagine how heavy this load had been for him?
In that moment of understanding, I was able to release many of the things that had been causing this pattern between us. And to magnify the healing, I added the ancient practice of Ho'oponopono by saying this simple but immensely powerful prayer over and over again in my quiet space.
I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you.
I’m sorry for what I did to you, please forgive me for not taking responsibility, I love you (more than ever before), THANK YOU.
I was also saying this prayer to myself and in doing so, was forgiving and loving myself.
And then the moment of action. In a deep knowing of what to do, I went to find my husband. Even though the atmosphere was cold, even though we hadn’t spoken since the day before, I stood in front of him and grabbed his hand.
He looked up and in his eyes I could see all the pain he was feeling. And so I simply said the words from the prayer …
I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you…
He looked at me and started to cry. He reached out for me and hugging me tightly, said sorry, himself.
Perhaps he will never understand the depth of the changes in that moment. But he certainly felt the release, he certainly felt the healing and that’s what it’s all about.
As you heal yourself, you heal the environment around you.
Using my BBT process to reach a level of zero point energy and adding the Ho'oponopono prayer helped to clear a pattern that had been present for years. A pattern that was destroying our relationship and could have spelled doom for us as a couple.
I can’t tell you how happy I am! And I’m so grateful for the power of my BBT process to heal and transform. I know now that this pattern is forever broken and that even if I feel the beginnings of it starting to creep in, it will simply be an echo to be dismissed with this simple prayer …
I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you!